Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I pray...God Hears


It's not that I think
My prayers are bouncing off the walls
For you know my every thought
Hear my every word
It's not that I think
You don't answer prayers,
It’s not that I think
You don’t hear my cries
It’s not that I think
You don’t know my hearts desires,
For I know you won't ignore me
I just can't find you now
I don't understand
Please show me
Where you are
Please tell me
What to do
Give me
The strength to make it though

Lord I cannot hear you
Lord I cannot see you
Where are you
I know you
Love me
Please come and
Hold me
Won’t you
Lead me
Show me your glory

I feel so alone
I'm tired of the fight.
Night after night
I just want some peace and rest
To again have your joy inside my heart
I’m waiting for the clouds to part
To see the sun-rise
I know the battles you fight
The fears you hide
The tears you've cried
That no one sees
Though you think there's no end in sight
My love
Just wait, a little bit, longer
And you'll see the sunrise

Lord I cannot hear you
            I am here
Lord I cannot see you
            I am near
Where are you
            I am right beside you
Love me
            Hold on to what you know
Hold me
            I've never let you go
Lead me
            Keep hold of my hand
Show me your glory
            My glory is all around you

            Just wait a little longer
            The clouds will part
            You’ll see a new sunrise


(Note: Tabbed/Italicized text are God’s responses) 

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So many times we call out to God and we feel like He’s not answering us. Sometimes He does answer us; we’re just too busy to hear him. Sometimes we’re just too hurt to hear directly. Sometimes God will use those around us to give comfort and encouragement. Sometimes we just have to trust and cling to the promises He’s gave us before the storms hit, sometimes all we’ll have is the promises that are in His love letter to the world…the Bible.

I don’t remember what I was going through at the time I originally wrote this, but what I do remember is this...
It originally was a letter to God. While I was writing it I truly heard God answer me! No burning bush, just God's Spirit. 

With all my husband (Joe) and I have gone through this past couple of years, I thought it fitting to share.

If you don’t know what has happened... 
In the midst of trying to find out what in my body is stopping us from starting a family for the last couple of years. I had hurt my shoulder at work last year. I had to have surgery on my shoulder in December.

Originally it was scheduled the last week in November. Joe’s Dad had come down the night before to be with us for the surgery, I felt so very loved. The day of the surgery Joe found his Dad in his hotel room, he had passed early that morning. We were devastated. Almost a year later, we are still trying to wrap our head around everything. In February I had posted on Facebook that I felt storms and spiritual warfare hitting us on all sides, with no signs of stopping. Not too long after that, I found out that I have a Gluten and Egg Yolk intolerance —which means I can’t have either of them; which caused much chaos in our lives. And the storms and the clouds just keep on rolling in and out of lives. While I have called out to God about these and many other things, overall, He has been surprisingly quiet on these matters. But, I still feel he is telling me to hold on to the promises He’s given me. And to wait a little longer…