Tears run down my
face
As I scream
To what I cannot
see.
I was hoping for
an answer
That’s still not
to be.
I'm tired of
crying
For what I cannot
change
I'm tired of
hoping
To be wrong again
and again
Do you hear me
scream
At the top of my
lungs
Do you hear me
scream
In my silence
My heart breaking
Again and again
I look to you
Trusting and
waiting
But my heart is
heavy
All I want
is
To be held and
know
That you are here
Did I hear you
promise
Or was it just a
dream
Is it something I
did
Or something to
be done
My eyes won't
dry
For the pain is
deep inside
I’m trying to
hold on
In this desert
But the well is
almost dry
Do you hear me
scream
At the top of my
lungs
Do hear me scream
In my silence
My heart breaking
Again and again
I look to you
Trusting and
waiting
But my heart is
heavy
I need to
know
You’re here
Holding these
pieces together
That these
tears
Are not in vain
And courage to
keep trusting
That you are here
To know, I'm not
forgotten
So I look to you
Trusting and
waiting
To answer me
________________________________________________
For those who
don't know, we have been trying to start a family for over 7 years. In the fall
of 2015, I thought it finally had happened. I thought I was pregnant. I was at
my family doctor's office for something unrelated and she went ahead and did
the test, it was negative. I had let myself hope. I finished my appointment
crying silently until I got in my car, that's when I started crying so hard I
was screaming; Screaming at God, screaming at myself. I was crying and
screaming so hard that I could hardly breathe.
In the middle of
all that, being totally broken, again… I cried out to God. Those desperate cries
started to form into a song…
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I know it's been a long time since I posted anything, I am hoping to start post more regularly again...
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